Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize