What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
