i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
