We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
