Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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