what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
