I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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