Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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