Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
