i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
