BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
