too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
