normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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