I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize