Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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