I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
