he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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