I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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