he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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