So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
