He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You left your phone here
Wait...
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