if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
