Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
