remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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