Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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