So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize