so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
