so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
