what day is it and did you see me today?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
