he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
