do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
