theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
