Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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