I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
