the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
