Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
