He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
