Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
