i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
