Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
