Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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