Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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