why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize