she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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