I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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