If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize