I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize