We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
