I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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