she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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