Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
