I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
