I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize