Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
