I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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