Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
