Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
