I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
