But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
