I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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