You really coming over, don't trick.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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