But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She announced her abortion via fbk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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