I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
