Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just pee around me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
