the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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