it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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