So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
