if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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